Close my eyes Slipping
by Aello
Summary: Sinclair Bryant wonders about his wife and the reason why she has grown so distant when he meets up with a young woman who seems to offer the comfort he needs.


**Slipping**  
ByAello (April 2001)

Summary: Sinclair Bryant wonders about his wife and the reason why she has grown so distant when he meets up with a young woman who seems to offer the comfort he needs.

Category: somewhat AU, Sap, Romance, and did I mention sap?

Rating: R just to be on the safe side for adult themes and situations

Pairing: Sinclair Bryant /Deborah Eckhout (OFC)

Based upon"Close my eyes" with Alan Rickman

A/N: I didn't even remember I wrote this piece - it was lost in the depths of my new harddrive... And I certainly didn't think it was so sweet. But since tomorrow is Valentine's Day, I thought it was a nice idea to post it. So have a good time reading it! (:

Dedications: Thanks to Suzy for beta-ing this baby! I really, really owe you one! And thanks to Your Worshipfulness - hadn't you left that review I might not have started to search my fanfic-folders and I might not have found this again...

There'll be no strings to bind your hands,  
Not if my love can't bind your heart.  
And there's no need to take a stand for  
It was I who chose to start

Juice Newton  
Angel of the morning

The entrance hall was huge and she was overwhelmed by the view revealed as the door slid open in front of her. This building seemed to be bigger from the inside than she'd thought from the outside view. She felt underdressed in her tight jeans and casual shirt under the leather jacket. Looking up to the ceiling she stepped in and walked towards the bar.

An old lady was sitting there and smiled at her. "Hello, may I help you?"

"Er, yes." She said. "Could you please tell me where to find Mister Shaw's office?"

The woman looked down along her. "Do you have an appointment, Miss..."

"Eckhout. Er, actually no, it's a surprise." Deborah Eckhout smiled at the old lady. "I thought, I could meet him here."

She could have been telling her the truth: he was her former host dad and she wanted to visit him for a surprise, but she didn't feel like doing so. She felt like kidding the old lady, pretending to be his secret lover or something else forbidden like that. Because it was such a stylish place and the old lady seemed to be very conservative. Today was her day and she wanted to have some fun.

The lady seemed to think then said"Third floor, room 332. Shall I call his secretary?"

Deborah blinked her eyes at the lady and with a secretively smile she shook her head. Pushing off a strand of her long red curly hair from her forehead she said"I don't think, that will be necessary. But thank you for offering." Nonchalantly smiling she turned and swaying her hips seductively she walked towards the escalators.

She imagined the lady's shocked face and let out a laugh.

Sinclair Bryant stood in front of the lift. Burying his hands in the pockets of his suit he stared into the blue and wondered why he always had to wait for the lift. This would make an interesting object for a theory of probabilities. He decided to count down from ten to zero and then take the escalator. Having thought the zero he turned on his heels and headed away. Just as he stepped on the first step of the escalator, wondering why the lift hadn't arrived as he had been thinking the last number he heard the door slide open. He rolled his eyes and shook his head. If one would ever understand these lifts.

Deborah smiled to herself. The old lady still occupied her mind. What a pity she hadn't been able to see her face as she had turned around.

She looked around. This building really was cool. Different from the one Shaw had been working before. This was new and huge, open and... Her gaze stopped at the sight of the man on the downward escalator. He was sexy. Tall, cute face and he seemed to be lost in thought. It was her day and she still felt lifted from the lady's startled reaction. So she decided to catch his attention.

Something caught his attention. Someone on the other escalator, the one up. He looked closer and found it to be a red-haired woman. She shook her long curly hair and ran her fingers through it. Casually. She was attractive he noticed, and young. She smiled. Did she really smile at him? Sinclair turned his head, she must have been smiling at someone behind him. There wasn't anyone. So she had been smiling at him.

He passed and she laughed silently. He had light green eyes, was really cute and shy. She had been catching his attention and as he looked she smiled. But what did he do, little cutey? Turn his head to see who she had been  
smiling at. Baby, he was so sexy, there surely would be no one more attractive in this whole building and he thought she'd smile at someone behind him.

He obviously was having a relationship. Such a cute guy wouldn't be single, no way. She sighed, what a pity. All the best men were married or gay. Such was life...

Some minutes later she was told by Mr. Shaw's secretary he was out to lunch. As she asked for the time of his return, the secretary, who still remembered her from visits before, excused and explained it was a business meeting and he probably would be back late. So Deborah decided to visit the Shaw's the same evening at home.

Deborah smiled to herself and walked along the corridor. Every time she visited London and the Shaw's she had to think of the time she had been coming here for some months as a teenager. As she had been visiting the Shaw's home, he had asked her to visit him in his office so he could show her what he had been doing.

Now she was on her way back to the escalator. She rounded the corner and recognized the man in front of the lift. It was the cute one with these clear green eyes she had seen the last week as she had been trying to visit Shaw. He stepped in the lift and against her better judgement she decided to do the same.

The door slid open in front of him and as he was about to enter the cabin someone shouted at him.

"Hey."

Sinclair turned his head to see who had been calling. It was a young woman. The redhead he had seen about a week ago. Hadn't she been flirting with him? He smiled and raised his eyebrow"If you're running that fast you could as well take the escalator and be down there sooner than anyone using the lift."

She laughed and together they entered the small cabin.

The door slid close and Deborah smiled at him"Thank you for stopping the lift for me."

Sinclair noticed the strange accent in her voice, but he couldn't sort in where it was from. Definitely from the Continent, probably Germany.

He just smiled and shrugged his shoulders as if he was embarrassed by her thank-you. She turned her head to see through the glass. It hadn't been a really good idea, she felt the old odd fear creep up insider her.

She leaned against the wall, all the blood seemed to rush out of her face and her breathing was ragged. Was she claustrophobic?

"Are you okay?" Sinclair asked and gently touched her shoulder.

Damn, she really shouldn't have entered the lift. He was so sexy and she wasn't able to talk to him. All she felt was sickness and the fear creeping up inside. The lift would crash down, this cabin was so small...

"They thought it would be a good idea for claustrophobics to see through the glass. But looking at you one may think it wasn't such a good idea at all." His hand still lay on her shoulder. "Though I use them every day, they make me shiver sometimes, too."

She looked up and a faint smile appeared on her face.

"Are you okay?" Sinclair repeated as he was sure she felt a little better.

She nodded and steadied herself.

"Yes, thank you." She braced herself and tried not to look too stupid.

Damn, what must he be thinking of her? Last week she had been really cheeky as she caught his attention. He didn't even realize it was him she had been smiling at. Now she was so close to him and she was not quite herself.

As he pulled back his hand she noticed the ring.

He noticed her look at the hand he was about to pull back.

"Oh. There we are, caught in this glass cabin and I haven't even introduced myself." He said and reached out his right hand. "Bryant, Sinclair Bryant."

He hadn't noticed her look as she realized he was married. Deborah silently sighed and smiled at him. "Deborah Eckhout."

His grip was firm and warm. What a pity he was already married! He was really cute...

Before she could say anything more, the lift touched down and the cabin was slightly shaking. Her eyes grew wide and instinctively her grip around Bryant's hand tightened.

Sinclair smiled. She was really pitiable. Her face was as white as cream and the grip of her hand around his spoke of her fear.

"Well, until today, no one using this lift really suffered."

Her eyes grew wide and she noticed she still held his hand. Quickly she let go of his hand and cleared her throat. Casting down her eyes she felt the blood rush to her face.

Damn, this had been an awful start. He must think her very silly...

Sinclair noticed the blood rush to her face. Probably she was embarrassed because he had seen her in such a condition.

The door slid open and he gestured towards the hall.

"So, Miss Eckhout, the ride is over, you can undo your seat belt and get off."

She half smiled and headed out.

"Well, I don't use these lifts very often."

He had to hold back the smile tugging at his lips. What an understatement. "Ah, really?"

They walked through the hall towards the door.

"Er, yes." She let out a sigh. "Well, I'm from Belgium and it's a flat country side."

He smiled and raised his eyebrow "And there are no houses with lifts either?"

She laughed and nodded.

She looked better now. Sinclair couldn't decide whether it was the fact that she finally got out of the small cabin and the blood had returned to her face again. Probably it was just the smile on her face.

"Yes, indeed."

She watched him from the corner of her eye. He had absolutely no idea how appealing he was to her, she could feel it. The way he walked beside her, the way he was talking to her, he was behaving absolutely... casual.

He turned towards her and noticed the look she threw at him.

"Oh, I didn't mean to..."

Smiling she interrupted him. "Well, I've heard that joke so many times I start to believe it myself one day."

She felt her knees grow weak. What was she supposed to do? It was only a few steps towards the door and they would part and she would never see him again... She had to say something to make him smile again, to linger on just for another minute or she would regret that day her whole life...

"And you're here for a holiday or..." His voice cut into her thoughts.

She looked at him as if she had been lost in thought. She shook her head.

"Yes, I, er... No actually, er..." She stopped and blushed.

Sinclair stopped and tried to stay serious. He looked at her and with a stern face he said: "Well, young lady, here it becomes obvious, the problem of your generation."

Deborah wished to simply vanish and never appear again. This was so embarrassing. She was so stupid. He had been asking a simple question and she hadn't even managed to reply it wasn't a holiday.

"Isn't it always said so, it's a generation not knowing where to go neither where they come from?"

He said it more to get her to reply, not to really annoy her. She looked up at him and he noticed her clear blue eyes.

It took her an instant to brace herself. She would probably never see him again and so she might as well make the best of this situation, no matter what he must be thinking of her then.

Smiling she replied"Well, it's said so. But after such a roller coaster ride I'm always unable to tell up from down. So one shouldn't wonder if I'm not able to tell where I came from and what my destination is, no"

She wasn't just pretty, she was clever, too.

"Your point." He smiled.

"And it's not quite a holiday. I'm ... visiting friends in London."

They arrived at the door and he smiled at her.

"Well, Miss Eckhout."

She took the hand he offered her. This time her hand wasn't as shaky as before in the lift.

"Have a nice time in London."

The smile on her face grew to a grin. "Oh, I think, I'm going to enjoy it."

They passed the door and he let go of her hand.

So this was the end. This cutey would head somewhere, out of her sight, out of her life and she would never see him again. What a pity.

He suddenly felt the urge to tease her and he just couldn't resist.

"If I may offer you just one piece of advice: avoid using lifts, Miss Eckhout, and I think you just might."

He was rewarded with a laugh.

She let out a laugh. He was really nice.

"Thanks for your kind advice, Mister Bryant. I'll keep it in mind."

With these words she turned and headed away. She was so young and full of life. Sinclair smiled to himself. Had she really been flirting with him?

It had been quite a while since someone had been flirting with him. At least he couldn't remember having done this since he had met Natalie. And even then it wasn't really flirting. It had been clear she was attracted to him  
and he was attracted to her.

He would ask her in the evening if she had been flirting with him. But probably she would just shake her head at him and call him a fool. Well, her mouth would call him a fool and the look on her face would make him feel like one. And probably he was one. But she would smile then and gently running her hand through his hair she would assure him she loved him nevertheless.

Wondering what it was she did to him that he loved her so utterly he headed on.

She had been lying to him. Natalie had been lying. Sinclair still couldn't believe it. Why did she lie to him?

He starred at the plate with the salad in front of him on the desk and tried to track back to where it had started.

The weekend she had told him she would stay at the "Royal George". He had caused a flood in the kitchen and as he tried to call her he was told she wasn't there. He still thought it was a misunderstanding and she was staying at another hotel with a similar name. As she came back the other day he asked her about the hotel, hoping to find out his worries to be in vain. But she told him, 'it had been spooky at the "Royal George"'. He didn't dare to ask any further. He was afraid of the truth he wouldn't be able to bear. She was back and that was all that mattered to him then. Something in him knew she had been doing something he'd better not ask her to tell. No matter what she had been doing, it would not happen again for she came back to him.

But he noticed the slight change in her. Little things.

Her distant look from time to time, as if she was far away. And the way she tried to play it down when he asked her what she had been thinking of.

The way she jerked when the phone rang. Always trying to answer the call before he could pick up the phone.

The way she closed her eyes when he touched her casually and backed away from him.

This was scaring him. She was slipping away from him and he couldn't even tell the reason why, nor could he avoid it. The only reason that made sense to him was nearly ripping his heart out, but he knew he would have to admit it to himself. He would have to face this truth he didn't want to consider. It hurt him, it hurt so bad, but no doubt: she was having an affair.

He sat there like thunderstruck as the meaning of what he just thought slowly sunk in. What did he do wrong that she had to have an affair?

Deborah sighed to herself. It was useless to lie to herself. She wasn't there by accident, she hoped to see him again.

As she looked up, she caught sight of him. Sinclair Bryant. Behind the glass front of a restaurant he sat. He seemed to be sad.

Life is too short to be wasted, she thought and headed across the street.

Sinclair reached for the fork and started to eat. He had no idea what he was eating, it didn't taste good, nor did it taste bad. It didn't have taste at all, he just ate it, because he knew he had to eat something. He felt numb and empty, sad and confused.

She smiled. The room was crowded and there were only a few seats left.

"Non-smoker?" The waiter asked and she nodded. She pointed at the window. "If it is possible, I'd like to sit at the window." The waiter smiled and let her to Bryant's place.

"Excuse me, Sir."

Sinclair looked up. The waiter stood in front of his table and asked him if he'd mind "the young lady sitting down at this table".

He turned his head and couldn't help resist the faint smile appearing on his face. He got up and took the hand she offered him. The napkin fell from his lap and she smiled.

"Hello Mister Bryant."

He looked like a little boy as he tried to catch the napkin sliding down along his trousers. She couldn't hold back a laugh.

"Er, hello Miss... Eckhout. Please sit down."

Letting go of her hand he finally managed to grab the napkin. Sitting down after she had taken her place he put the napkin on his thigh again.

He made a complete fool of himself in front of her. What must she be thinking?

Was that a faint blush of his face? She didn't even try to hide the smile as she sat down. At least he didn't look so sad anymore.

She turned to the waiter and pointing at Bryant's salad she ordered one, too.

Turning to him again she asked"I suppose it's tasty, isn't it?"

Her voice cut into his thoughts. Looking up he found her smiling at him.

"Excuse me?"

"I said, I suppose it's tasty." She repeated.

"Er, what is tasty?"

He had no idea what she was talking about.

He obviously had been lost in thought while eating the salad.

Pointing at the salad she said: "Well, at least they seem to use no quickly functioning poison."

He starred at her then at the plate in front of him.

"Poison." He repeated and starred at her. She smiled and he noticed she had been kidding him.

He allowed himself to relax. "Ah, yes." He smiled. "Er, well, if you promise not to tell the manager: I have no idea, how this salad tastes."

She smiled back.

"I've been thinking."

Deborah nodded. "I've seen you from across the street." He looked up and she could sense his vulnerability. Before he could say something she continued.

"You were so nice in the lift so I decided to come over and try my best to make you smile."

Her eyes were clear and blue. Sinclair had no idea what she really had in mind. But actually it didn't matter to him. She was there and she was making him smile. Why shouldn't he talk to her for a while?

"I'm not sure, if I can be made to smile easily today."

She stood his gaze and felt the pain and anxiety radiating from him. A wave of pity washed over her. She had meant to make him smile, probably a bad idea.

"I don't need to make you smile at any price. I don't want to disturb you. I'll ask the waiter for another..."

"No." He shouted and realized the people around stared at them.

"No." He said again, this time with his voice lowered. "Please stay."

He wondered why he had asked her to stay. What did he expect from this situation? And even more interesting: what did he himself expect from her?

His voice had been almost begging. It stirred something in her.

She felt, she shouldn't stay. She should be leaving as quickly as possible. There was something in the air, something dangerous, forbidden. She didn't dare to admit to herself how much she was attracted to him but she felt if she didn't manage to keep up the last bit of distance they would cross a line they'd better not cross.

Against her better judgement she pushed away these thoughts and smiled.

The moment he'd asked her to stay he felt it was a mistake.

She shouldn't be here. He shouldn't have asked her to stay. But he couldn't be alone now. He needed some company, some comfort. He couldn't call his friends, to tell about his suspicions, couldn't call his family. But he had to express himself. She was a stranger, she didn't know him, didn't know Natalie. She would listen and leave. He caught himself slightly shiver at this thought.

There was a problem he obviously had. Probably talking would help him. But how could she get him to talk without appearing to be curious?

She would have to get him to trust her first.

"I took your advice and have successfully avoided the use of any lift."

He smiled.

She was so nice. Thankfulness swept over him as he looked at her.

"Really"

She nodded. "Yes, but that can be really ... exhausting sometimes, you can believe me."

Sinclair let out a laugh. "For example?"

The waiter brought her salad and for a while they sat eating in silence.

She could feel the tension in him and suddenly she was absolutely sure it was his wife.

"May I speak openly"

He looked up. Her intense blue eyes were fixed on his. Though she hadn't said anything yet, he was sure about what she would say. He wasn't quite sure how he should act. He knew he had to talk to someone though he felt the need to simply ignore all the emotions Natalie's behaviour caused in him. As if the complete denial of what made him feel so bad could make all this pain disappear...

She wondered how on earth she got the nerves to talk to him that way. What made her act the way she did? She was offending him, she told herself. She should excuse herself for her behaviour and get out of here. But she couldn't. She had crossed the line and she had to keep going...

Slightly nodding she looked at his left hand. "It's her." She just said and waited for his next move.

He nodded. Was it that obvious? She couldn't know Natalie. She didn't know him and though she knew he was anxious because of her...

She raised her eyebrow. "Is she..."

Sinclair nodded. "Yes, she is."

Why on earth did he tell her? How could she know?

Softly she said"I'm sorry." She reached for his hand on the table and gently stroked it.

"I don't know ... how to... what to say."

He felt a wave of sadness wash through him. She was so gentle and she didn't even know what she did to him. She was still so young...

He felt the urge to hold her in his arms, to feel her. She was so full of concern and he felt so lost and lonely. He felt betrayed and cheated on, he needed to feel safe and sound even if it was just for a while.

She felt the urge to hold him in her arms. He seemed to be so battered and shaken. She wanted to hug him and hold him. Even if it was just for a while and it would be just for a while... He would not feel betrayed by her for all his life. They would talk it over and live happy ever after...

He pulled his hand away from under hers and started to gently stroke hers. Lightly his fingertips brushed over the back of her hand.

He wanted to hold her, he needed to feel her. But he knew he wouldn't ask. He shouldn't ask. It was wrong. This was wrong, wrong, wrong. But it felt so nice to touch her hand. She tried to keep still but he felt the light shivers running through her. All he had to do was to look up and ask her...

But it was wrong. A mistake. She was here by accident. He would not leave Natalie, he would just try to get some affection. Holding this young girl would mean cheating on her as well as cheating on Natalie. Not to talk about his own feelings...

It was a nice thought to be in this girl's arms for a while. To forget the pain and anxiety for a while. She was young and lovely, surely only about half his age, around twenty. But he would only be using her...

He stopped stroking her hand and pulled back. Looking up he was about to excuse. As he saw her blushed face he struggled with himself. But before he could say anything she started to talk to him.

She had seen his look as he had touched her hand. He wanted her as much as she wanted him. But he wouldn't ask for he was convinced it was a mistake. She had to take the lead...

"I'm not asking for much. No promises, no regrets."

He heard her words, he got the message. But he was not sure if he should accept this invitation. Deep inside he knew he was already convinced, he just tried to find excuses for this slip...

His face mirrored the tempest inside his chest. He was struggling with himself, with his high ideals and thoughts of honesty and faithfulness. She knew she wouldn't keep him in her arms forever, she wasn't at least determined to even try. He was a very attractive man who seemed to need some comfort and she felt she could offer this to him. She would have to leave this town, this country in only two weeks and probably never see him again.

Sinclair knew well enough what to do. He should politely refuse the kind offer and run from this place as soon and as fast as possible. But he didn't feel like doing so. Long enough he had been doing things that made sense. For once he would allow himself to slip away. He tried to ignore the certainty that suddenly struck him, he'd not feel any better later, even worse. Later was later and now was now.

Against his better judgement he touched her hand again. "No promises." He asked but it was more a statement and she nodded.

"No promises, no demands." She repeated, her eyes fixed on his.

They went to the apartment his parents had left him. She had asked him where they could go and without really thinking about it he had taken her there.

He turned the key and opened the door. She stepped in and looked around.

"It's huge." She said and turned to him again.

He nodded and closed the door. He leaned against the wall and felt even worse than before.

He looked worse than before. She felt his troubled mind and wondered what really was going on in his mind. There was no way she'd ever know. He wouldn't tell and she wouldn't ask. She wasn't here to hear the story of his life. She was here because something had been going on between them. Something had brought her here to share some time in his arms and she would not let the chance pass by.

She stepped towards him and gently touched his cheek. He closed his eyes and let himself melt away under her touch. He was lost and confused like he never felt before. How had his life gone wrong?

He was married. His wife was cheating on him and he picked up a stranger to make love to her...

He was drowning in his contradicting emotions, a stranded soul on a stranger shore. She was his only chance to get out of this... Probably he was lying to himself, he surely was lying, he knew he was. But he didn't want to think right now, never again. He wanted to let himself go with the flow. Though it was a mistake. He would now enjoy and regret later...

She sensed his loneliness and considered for one single moment to stop. She could pull back her hand and tell him to go back to his wife to talk it over. But she knew, she wouldn't. She couldn't even tell why. Something made her follow the path she had chosen, even if she wanted to stop now she wasn't able to do so.

Carefully she touched his lips.

She was so gentle. He really should not let her go any further. He would break her heart, though she wouldn't admit it. For her it was an adventure, she was so young. But probably she was over him the moment she'd went out the door and it was him who would be left with a broken heart. What did she see in him? It didn't matter, she was close and it felt good.

He pulled her closer.

She rested her head against his chest and relaxed into his embrace. His hands gently rubbed her back. He hadn't brought her here to just have sex with her. What he needed was affection and tenderness. If his wife wasn't able to give it to him, she was willing to do the best she could in the little time she was given.

She pushed away the thought of his wife. This wasn't about his wife, it was about him. Him and her. Strange where her life had led her. She'd never done this before. She'd never had a one night stand, neither did she feel attracted to a man this way before. Never had she felt the need to be close to a man like this before without ever caring about the consequences...

Gently rubbing her back he kissed her hair. Sinclair tried to push away the thoughts of Natalie. He'd never even thought of cheating on her before. There had been no temptations, no situations being worth to be called so. And now that he was in the arms of another woman it didn't even feel like not being faithful.

He couldn't help the thought, but he did not feel like cheating. He was indeed about to make love to her. He didn't have to lie to himself about cheating or not. Somehow this was not cheating. He didn't knew this girl...  
woman, he wouldn't meet her again, he wouldn't miss her. He couldn't be alone now, he needed some comfort and she would give what he needed.

She pulled back and looked into his eyes. Somehow she needed to make sure he still wanted to do what they came here for.

What she read in his eyes, she couldn't quite tell. If she'd knew him better she would have been able to call it love, but as she was a complete stranger to him, she decided to call it sympathy.

She got up on her toes and carefully placed a kiss on his lips.

It was a light touch. Her lips were soft and warm. He pulled her back into his arms again and kissed her back. Lightly at first, teasing and testing. The kiss grew longer and became more passionate.

He felt her body pressed against his and her hands roam over his back. Feeling his clear thoughts slowly fade away he decided, he wouldn't try to resist anymore, he would follow to wherever she led him.

She felt him lift her. Her legs closed around his waist and her arms around his neck he carried her to the next room. Letting her down on the bed he stripped of his jacket and laid beside her on the bed.

She turned to him and tenderly kissed him. She would make him feel good, for a while he would forget his worries. She felt him reply her kiss and reached for the knot of his tie.

He pulled back and watched her slowly undo the knot of the tie. She wasn't in a hurry, she was taking her time. He reached for her leg to pull it over his own. Gently stroking her knee he watched her taking off his tie.

She smiled and he felt a warm feeling spread in his groin.

A slight shiver ran through her body as he pulled her closer. She could feel his obvious arousal and felt arousal creep up inside herself. She needed to feel his skin against hers, quickly.

He felt her shiver as he pulled her closer. He had to be much closer than this, he had to feel her skin, he had to feel all of her...

Leaning over he claimed her mouth and kissed her passionately. His hand strayed from her knee to her belly and slipped under her shirt.

A soft moan escaped from her mouth as his fingertips lightly brushed over her breast and he couldn't help the picture of Natalie suddenly appearing before his inner eye.

Something was wrong, completely wrong. She pulled back to look at him. Carefully she removed his hand from her breast.

He wasn't really here, she sensed. And she couldn't really blame him.

She had gently pulled his hand from her chest. She smiled encouraging.

"I'm sorry." He whispered and sat up.

She shook her head and placed a finger on his lips.

If she ever met this wife of his, she'd slap her face, Deborah swore silently.

What could she tell him? She clearly felt it was a mistake from the moment she sat down at his table in the restaurant but she had let herself go with the flow. She had been more than hedonistic, though she realized it only now. She had been lying to herself about helping him. In fact it would have been just to prove something to herself...

So she just sat up and took him in her arms again.

He felt her relax into his embrace. It was a caring embrace, comforting. He felt the warmth of her body against his and sighed.

From the moment he had asked her to stay he knew it was a mistake, he had felt he was wrong. But he had let himself go with the flow against his better judgement. Because it had been so easy. It had seemed to be so easy at least... She was young and beautiful and he had felt flattered by her offer and simply not listened to his senses.

But he couldn't solve one problem by causing another one.

She knew his feelings, he felt, she wouldn't ask for an explanation.

She pulled back and looked up.

"You don't need an excuse. I should have known better..."

He shook his head. "I've come here by my own will."

Thoughtfully she watched him. "I'm not sure. I don't feel like coming here by my own will, if you know what I mean? It's like I was letting myself go with the flow instead of running away as long as I could have been..."

Though she was so young she seemed to be so... wise and understanding.

He smiled and pulled her back into his embrace. Letting out a soft sigh he gently rubbed her back. Suddenly he felt her stiffen and pull back.

Damn, he meant to be caring and she felt turned on! If she stayed in his embrace for just one more minute she would not be able to simply let him go.

She pulled back and felt him look right through her. All the blood rushed to her face and she cast down her eyes.

He smiled. She obviously was aroused though she tried hard to hide it.

But before he could comment on it, she got up from the bed and grinned sarcastically.

She had to get out of here. He was so sexy but she would not have him. And actually she suddenly didn't feel sorry about it. It would be stealing and she was not thinking of his wife. She knew, she could persuade him to hold her closer than he just did. But he would regret it and she didn't want him to feel bad.

Sarcastically grinning she got up and reached for his tie. Handing it over to him she said: "I need a strong coffee and I suppose you do, too."

Smiling he reached the tie and she fought down the need to straddle him on the bed to help him fix the tie.

He noticed her look as he knotted his tie. It was so obvious she found him attractive but she tried so hard to not show it. Thankfulness swept over him. Another woman probably wouldn't have acted this way. Probably another woman would not have made him take her here...

Sighing silently he shifted away these thoughts and reached for his jacket. He got up and looked at her.

His intense eyes directly looked at her. Hopefully he wouldn't notice the wishes in her eyes she tried to hide.

"You shouldn't think, I don't find you attractive..." He started and cast down his eyes. For an instant she didn't know what to think of this. He looked up again and a faint smile appeared on his face. "It doesn't sound gentlemanlike what I just said, right"

She shrugged her shoulders. "I don't know, it's honest at least. But I don't know if I wanted you to be a gentleman right now if it meant you had to lie."

It was strange. Suddenly she could understand, really understand him. Of course he knew what she felt right now. He wasn't dumb and her body and her looks would not lie for her. He tried to tell her, she was attractive but though she was he would not be able to go any further.

She had cast down her eyes and now looked up at him. There was something new in her eyes. He could tell, she understood him. A silent agreement not to talk any further, no questions. Like she said: no promises, no demands...

Softly smiling he reached for her hand. "Yes, I think it's a good idea. I really need a coffee, too."

The End of part one


End file.
